Thursday, 23 August 2018


Trying to keep cool???  In all of my nearly 7 years I have never felt as hot as this! 

Have you noticed my companion he always appears when the sun shines and never leaves me alone, except when I am swimming.  Here he is in the photo trying to big himself up and take all the glory for retrieving my stick.  When I try to sit on him he almost disappears and running after him is completely useless as he always avoids capture and can run as fast as I can.  Luckily he disappears on contact with water.

I get a break from him when the Mrs lets me cool off in the lake but her throw is not what it once was so the Boss gives me more of a swim as his sticks splash far out in the centre and I can practice my swimming stroke to its full potential.  This stroke, commonly known as doggy paddle, which I think is a pretty pathetic name considering the speed with which I can move through the water, is a Labradors triumph.  I will admit the diving could do with improvement - the Mrs insists it is called a belly flop but I prefer to think of it as a dog bomb I make a mighty fine splash I can tell you!  Once in the water my paws spread out and the webbing between my toes acts as a massive paddle enabling me to power through the water and catch the stick in my mouth to return it to the Boss for another launch.. If only he would let me try this with the fish but he continues to prefer to catch them with dangled lines attached to sticks I think this is a huge waste of a stick!

Saturday, 4 August 2018


ERTS BLOG:  Tasty, tasty, very, very tasty.  I am one proud dog.  After parading around the ring at our village Fête for Most Fabulous Fellow, Musical Sits, Best Paw Shaker and Judges Champion I finally won the last class and was awarded this fabulous rosette.  I also received some bags of party goodies which the Mrs kindly doled out to me one at a time and which she also stored in her handbag for later spoilsport!  This could make a fellow swell headed but I am taking it in my stride, in my run and also in my sits as I now have no excuse not to do what I am told - the Mrs said she would relieve me of my rosette if I did not do exactly what she said in future if I didnt she would know I was only showing off for the crowd and if I could do it in the ring, I could do it at home.

I knew I should not have been so prompt in my eagerness to perform. It always leads to great expectations from the Boss and Mrs and now, each time I try to ignore a command or turn a deaf ear, the Mrs waves the rosette at me.  I am wondering how long it will take for her to forget and allow the dog show to disappear into the avenues of murky past in her memory and allow me to sneak it down the garden for a proper respectful burial I have the place chosen and marked out already in my own special way

While searching for a suitable place my memory suddenly resurfaced from the murky past with the aid of sight and smell and I found a long lost tennis ball which pleased me greatly. I proceeded to gift it to the Boss who threw it to the Mrs, who had to drop the rosette (sshhh, I will appropriate it at a later date) to catch the ball and we spent the next hour playing dog in the middle.  Each time I caught the ball I received another goodie from my party bag, so all in all we had a very good time at the Fête many thankful tail flicks and licks to the organisers.

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

JUNE 2018

The Mrs spent ages making this.  This is my worried look!  The Mrs wants me to go into telephone boxes and spin round – I usually only sniff around the outside….  The cloak rather intrigues me, I can imagine tearing across the fields with it flying out behind me, rather like my ears on a windy day.  The tights I am a little worried about as well – restricting with my four legs, not to mention my bodily requirements/ablutions and what would I do with my tail?  Of course the muscles closely resemble my own with me being a fit sort of chap. 
The Mrs has mentioned sponges in relation to this hunk and I can only assume she means to give me another wash.  Time will tell what the real purpose of sponges and the Superhero will be at the village fete…..The last time sponges were used I pinched one and shook it with all my might and water sprayed everywhere – over the Mrs who was washing her vehicle and the Boss who was sitting reading his Sunday paper.  I then had to run off to the bottom of the garden with it before I could be chastised.  On being persuaded to return it to the bucket the car washing antics were abandoned by the Mrs and with a crafty look at the Boss, who was busy spreading out his paper to dry before he could resume his reading, she and I embarked on a fun game of catching the sponge which, after each retrieval, was dunked into the bucket to soak and flung into the air for me. 
It turned out that newspaper reading and car sponging is not  a good combination for a sunny Sunday morning and eventually the Boss retrieved the sponge and finished the car cleaning job himself which I think was the idea the Mrs had all along…..

Saturday, 16 June 2018


BERTS BLOG:  As I was saying last month - sunbathing is fine if you cover up certain parts - however at the moment I seem to have been overtaken by the Mrs who thinks I need some protection!  I kept trying to tell her that I was fine without the hat but she can be insistent.  I do have a need for some kind of protection as I will explain but not necessarily from the sun… The Mrs is decorating my bedroom.  At first she put my bed out of doors while she was sanding down the walls and ceiling.  However, due to the concern from the Mrs of not constantly remaining in the brilliant sunshine I had crept back in doors to lay down on the cool floor for a bit of respite from the heat.  When I ventured outdoors again to find the Boss he didn’t recognise me.  After a quick intake of breath he loudly asked what the Mrs had done to me as I now resembled a white, pasty ghost of a dog and not his favourite chocolate.  This elicited surprise from the Mrs who didn’t know I was inside when she was sanding down the walls and she instantly began patting and brushing me with her hands to rid my coat of white dust.  This was such an enjoyable experience that I sneaked back inside again when she had her back turned,  only by this time the sandpaper had been replaced with paint and rollers and I later emerged into the sunshine rather reminiscent of a Dalmation with large white spots……  The Boss instantly decided he and I needed to take a run down to the lake so I could swim my way back to being a chocolate Labrador again.  Just by chance the Boss remembered he had to check out his fishing tackle and together we spent a pleasant afternoon playing by the water.  On our return my bedroom had a perfect white ceiling and the Mrs treated me to a jolly good towelling and brushing which almost made up for trying to change my breed!

Monday, 30 April 2018

APRIL 2018

A little sunbathing never did anyone any harm as long as you don’t overdo it and keep certain parts covered…   I am reliably told that sunlight directly on the skin makes vitamin D in your body which the Mrs told me apparently you can’t do without.  Assuming that vitamin D stands for Dog I consider it a huge compliment that the Boss and the Mrs take a considerable amount of time pursuing this sunbathing lark as it obviously means then wish to emulate me as much as possible and eventually hope to be able to do all the things I can (with some exceptions).  The Mrs usually covers herself in cream and hides under sun shades but the Boss eschews such cissy stuff and so do I.  He just enjoys himself and never thinks about Vitamin D but I have noticed that the Boss seems to be copying more of my mannerisms lately in malting, sleeping, snoring and generally enjoying the ball orientated sports….  There may be hope for him yet.  The Mrs says he just needs to be trained to fetch and he will be up to my standard…..  Vitamin D for Dog, I wonder if Vitamin C is for cat…..

Thursday, 19 April 2018

April Sunshine makes a dog happy.......

Having a bit of fun with the Mrs.  This April sunshine makes you want to leap in the air. Well it did me - the Mrs declined..
Fun and games with my destroyed tennis ball.

Wednesday, 4 April 2018


I finally got my way - walkies in a big way.  Over here in France I get walkies every day with the Mrs and on this occasion we went on a long ramble together with the Boss as well.  It was difficult to decide who I was going to obey since they both accompanied me and both like to tell me what to do…….
In the end I decided to be very diplomatic and used my right ear for listening to the Boss and my left ear for listening to the Mrs.  That did cause a few problems as they dont seem to agree on many things.  For example when we passed by a boggy area on my right that I had noticed held some exciting smells the Boss said find him then and as I was on the point of heading into the depth of the marsh area I heard a faint calling in my left ear of noooooo, not in the mud.   Needless to say the scents were just too nice to pass up so I tuned in to my selective hearing mode and dived into the bog and had a jolly good sniff round.  As it has been raining  in this area of France for the last three months, there was a lot of damp area to investigate.  When I returned to see how things stood with my guardians they seem to be having a very deep and meaningful discussion on how the Boss could have trained me to have the same selective hearing mode that he himself appears to have developed.  The Mrs, with the aid of a very wagging pointy finger was extracting a promise from the Boss that due to his lax control he would be in charge of cleaning me up.  I knew his method of cleaning me up meant a swim in the lake so with alacrity I sided with the Mrs and her promise with a very wagging pointy tail.  Best of both worlds especially for a Labrador!