tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10286817348301037212024-03-06T00:26:28.751-08:00Bert's Dog BlogA dog's life from a dog's view.Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-87288489968884749582020-08-04T01:49:00.001-07:002020-08-04T01:49:58.716-07:00AUGUST 2020RIP Bert 20.09.2011 – 03.08.2020 The Boss and the Mrs thank you for all your support for Bert over his eight years. He loved people. He died peacefully in his garden. His diagnosis was hemangiosarcoma attached to his spleen, it had metastasised and nothing could save him, mercifully for him his illness was short. He will be greatly missed, not only here but also in France.<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-24604436306385981662020-07-13T09:48:00.003-07:002020-07-13T09:51:27.159-07:00JULY 2020<span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74R7k9hjdtaqj-N-_-688I61W_BocdQHi5zhDjuEzKFgXisqC67zv-UEZKdpslSDg3Rar5ftLUUkvaXoORZXrOLtNrE-hyqJGG2MponJnFTIlR_IUXXycltEx2tBusPeF5Lj65MPwBPK2/s2048/2020.06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74R7k9hjdtaqj-N-_-688I61W_BocdQHi5zhDjuEzKFgXisqC67zv-UEZKdpslSDg3Rar5ftLUUkvaXoORZXrOLtNrE-hyqJGG2MponJnFTIlR_IUXXycltEx2tBusPeF5Lj65MPwBPK2/s320/2020.06.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>I haven’t been feeling myself lately, licking and scratching yes but not feeling. Had several visits to the white coated brigade who were masked and gowned and very kind. The Boss and the Mrs left me in their care for a few days and I woke up with a shaved belly, lots of staples and a fair few bits of me missing. I did get away with not wearing a mask but I was given a clear plastic face shield which prevented the Mrs and the Boss from giving me my usual head pats and ear tickles so I am afraid it was jettisoned after an initial trial and I was constantly told not to lick my poor bare belly or the shield would have to be reinstated…a great motivation to behave as I love all the attention I am getting at the moment. <br /><br />Things were going swimmingly until a phone call giving my prog nose is, which in fact was nothing to do with my nose at all, but turned out to be all about my expectation of life. The Boss and the Mrs have not shared this with me but kept this information to themselves, however I detect an underlying difference in their manner, a sadness of eye and braveness of face. I myself have realised I am not as well as I used to be. I seek constant reassurance and have had to take lots of pills and sleep a lot more than any dog of 8 years should do but on the bright side I have been allowed many more strokes, pats and treats than normal and the pills come with honey and biscuits. <br /><br />Life is continuing much as it was with trips to the shoot to mooch about with the Boss and walks with the Mrs to visit far flung venues where I have to amuse myself while she gazes at the view and attempts a fair replica on paper despite me sitting smack in the middle of the composition or acting bored and wanting to go walking. However I am not a daft dog and I know I am on borrowed time. I wonder if I should bid you farewell now or see if I can still pen this blog for the next edition….. enjoy your life, you never know what is round the corner unless of course you are a dog with a nose like mine and can smell it.</span>Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com8Hampshire, UK51.057694800000007 -1.308062922.747460963821162 -36.4643129 79.367928636178846 33.8481871tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-30393801411279000292020-05-28T03:39:00.004-07:002020-07-13T09:52:10.294-07:00JUNE 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXjBdyiWuG_NkHxuniK8QN4YEKmOMT5E7O1VK9e-0HNyf6a21Z8928-e31y0ksykCBTUGyKlJYuAxEYwIT6sdqCMPeJaR86zbIAp_MYd103_728VkQ-DOf8JzMVH610f5rrLvIBQLgnOo/s1600/2020+JUNE.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1354" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXjBdyiWuG_NkHxuniK8QN4YEKmOMT5E7O1VK9e-0HNyf6a21Z8928-e31y0ksykCBTUGyKlJYuAxEYwIT6sdqCMPeJaR86zbIAp_MYd103_728VkQ-DOf8JzMVH610f5rrLvIBQLgnOo/s320/2020+JUNE.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
I am not sure if this is really necessary but the Boss and Mrs are wearing their masks so I thought I should follow suit. It does hamper the old nozzle a bit and I can't really bark very well without it getting all tangled up with my teeth and ending up a soggy mess. Perfumes are really muted and it certainly puts a damper on getting to know the ladies as I can't really tell if they are ladies or not without a jolly good snifter. The Mrs thinks I look quite well, the Boss said it was a waste, the Mrs said it was all doggerel and the boss just pulled a face...…..I quite like the anonymity of it - I could be the Lone Barker! <br /> Life in lockdown has resulted in much more attention for me so I am not really complaining but on two occasions I felt really under the weather and the Mrs was worried and rushed me straight to the guys in the white coats for a once over. After being reassured that dogs are not prone to the illness that has kept us here in France for much longer than planned, I was subjected to an injection and some tablets and felt as right as rain again but rain seems to have done a bunk and the sun has taken over now. The heat makes me puff but I rest a lot and not going out means I don’t have to be wear the disguise which is a bonus, although apparently I am really the only one allowed out without a certificate, the Boss and the Mrs have to produce one every time they leave the house. This is for the gendarmes to check they are obeying the rules and not straying too far which is strange for it is usually us dogs that get it in the neck for straying too far. <br /> <br /> <br /> Meanwhile back on the farm we only wear masks if we leave the homestead and as the Mrs is the only one to shop it is she who leaves looking like the Lone Ranger every so often while the Boss stays with me and awaits her return - us elderlies get to stick together and we never stray! <br /> <br /> <br /> Hope you are all masked, locked down and safe in your own homes.
Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-68411839923806271442020-04-15T08:07:00.002-07:002020-07-13T09:53:08.489-07:00MAY 2020<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp0kNYKnUkcoakqH6TLEkd02FvN8ZGtqlZth5wiljUw6VVc-C3sudJT0NIucw98x7PxAtzoJl7ajW-r7eOxNoDMb6vjhzfQhg3YP9AT0H4ytXqkSHLtnflP7q25IopFZS5s8xO_H4AeWiB/s1600/IMG_20200415_115447.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp0kNYKnUkcoakqH6TLEkd02FvN8ZGtqlZth5wiljUw6VVc-C3sudJT0NIucw98x7PxAtzoJl7ajW-r7eOxNoDMb6vjhzfQhg3YP9AT0H4ytXqkSHLtnflP7q25IopFZS5s8xO_H4AeWiB/s320/IMG_20200415_115447.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
The Mrs thinks I am going deaf….. she was wondering if there were hearing aids for dogs when the Boss offered his. I hastily backed away and said no thanks....it’s bad enough when she wants me to do something and I don’t quite catch the drift, it could be deadly for him! Mind you sometimes an enticing smell that just needs to be sniffed can produce complete encompassing deafness on my part no matter who is calling. I have noticed occasionally when the Mrs calls a request to the Boss that he too has this same affliction. We are not so unalike! <br /> <br />Just to check my faculties completely she persuaded me to try her glasses which I can say produced a completely different picture of the world. I don't know how she can wear them, the underwater effect of everything going swimmy made me wander off and check out the nearest plant to see if it needed watering…. This produced another hearing check when her request to “stop that” reached me fairly loudly. I returned to her side instantly being the obedient dog that I am. Luckily my training was complimented with hand signals so even if I don’t always catch what she is saying I can usually understand her ….something she insists the Boss needs to work on. <br /><br /> Disconcertingly the world has suddenly turned quieter and I seem to be getting their undivided attention whereas before I had to share it with all and sundry. We are now alone together and receive no visitors. I am told we are experiencing difficult times and there is a dangerous virus about. We still go for walks but precautions are being taken. I keep my eyes alert for any danger but the Boss and Mrs have assured me that this quiet is worldwide and nothing to do with my ears. I hope you are keeping safe too.
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-39956171468120534032020-04-03T07:55:00.002-07:002020-05-28T03:46:49.126-07:00APRIL 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidPL2RONBrntPCbSrXQhv_mYu7-m6PTNlbuGQ57NWAVMll1ZnPQCLZ6f2cJlYTkQZlt-CU1omIyXRKOb0Wrcik2Wu7BlrWYla3meodUZIZiIYYPmBJNGH7zOmeygbe4xeVRo33-NFvUVrE/s1600/berts+blog+march+2020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1559" data-original-width="1145" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidPL2RONBrntPCbSrXQhv_mYu7-m6PTNlbuGQ57NWAVMll1ZnPQCLZ6f2cJlYTkQZlt-CU1omIyXRKOb0Wrcik2Wu7BlrWYla3meodUZIZiIYYPmBJNGH7zOmeygbe4xeVRo33-NFvUVrE/s320/berts+blog+march+2020.jpg" width="235" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Rain, rain and more rain. An oversea trip to stay in
my chic chien shack has not improved the weather, the rain continues to
fall. Luckily my luxurious fur coat is fairly shower proof as it
has been severely tested recently. The Mrs is almost unrecognisable in
her wet weather gear with only a ghostly face visible inside her hood.
Her hibernation instinct has come to the fore and the Boss has a devil of a job
extricating her from the house. I have more success persuading her to
come for walkies to the lake where she can fossick about clearing debris from the
spillways and streams and ensuring water flows in the direction it
should. When she gets too enthusiastic it usually ends in disaster....
wet knees, wet feet or falling flat on her back hauling branches out of the
water. Once out in the wet weather nothing seems to deter her from
getting wetter or muddier and for once she and I see eye to eye, especially
when she has fallen over and I can give her face a good cleaning off while she
is laying there recovering! However she is not as enamoured with my
cleaning method as I am and usually belts out a loud "get offfff"
when I try to help. I also give invaluable help with removing the broken
branches from the water but my stacking system is not up to scratch yet.
When the branches are log size the Boss gets busy with his noisy cutting
machine and I have to stand well back until they are reduced to bite size, even
then I sometimes have trouble hauling them into place. The Mrs helps and
eventually we load it all on the trailer and take it back to the barn for stacking
in the dry. By this time we are all dog tired, my coat is
usually quite wet and I seem to be covered in sawdust and mud in equal
measures. The Boss and the Mrs usually fair a bit better and can shed
their wet gear before entering their domain but bath time for me looms in the
future...... I can feel it in the air and in the eyes of the Mrs as she regards
me with that look which bodes ill for dirty dogs. It's out with the
perfumed shampoo and hairdryer......I can feel a woofter moment coming on.
This constant rain brings out my natural perfume but the Mrs feels she can
improve on that with her bottles and potions so I comply just to keep the
peace......roll on summer!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-33179181809851247702020-03-02T03:37:00.000-08:002020-05-28T03:53:35.180-07:00MARCH 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3AP0iHOScauGiz_Qw_zucGU71vNirZsdRazy-nfMfs5bSMJqrBIgfkmgIQMfYbMEwxAhUgBT-X-b8Q0rWhr1jsEU-YCZLXW6aCAw8KWD4kSB-w1GGgVCuhvrmOK_fgat2oYUWP9gqW5q9/s1600/2020+MARCH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3AP0iHOScauGiz_Qw_zucGU71vNirZsdRazy-nfMfs5bSMJqrBIgfkmgIQMfYbMEwxAhUgBT-X-b8Q0rWhr1jsEU-YCZLXW6aCAw8KWD4kSB-w1GGgVCuhvrmOK_fgat2oYUWP9gqW5q9/s1600/2020+MARCH.jpg" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">I have heard it is customary to bring a rose to your loved ones on a
certain date last month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strictly
speaking these were already given but I thought it a nice gesture to bring one
to the Mrs to show how much I appreciate her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The fact that I had to select it from the already carefully arranged
vase without her noticing and get the Boss to clear up the resulting mess was
immaterial to the thought I put into it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She seemed really impressed with me but rather less so with the Boss as
apparently he had not remembered himself, the colour was wrong and he was
rubbish at flower arranging!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is just no pleasing some women!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it was red……but she loves me
anyway!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-14358113801681055432020-02-14T03:39:00.001-08:002020-02-14T03:39:06.774-08:00FEBRUARY 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1lAZy0cZhgkweCk_zmqZSovb6ckrbXcr5VMWwzJzhtLQSDny_bwM17FGhhpkkEp9vp5w-ej3aHOre3ZoYv1-eTe3E4n4_A0e7g6EAcZ8vC9vpon-7oxkDj3qRe1IUo7epcdN3oB598r8Y/s1600/2020.02+FEB.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1lAZy0cZhgkweCk_zmqZSovb6ckrbXcr5VMWwzJzhtLQSDny_bwM17FGhhpkkEp9vp5w-ej3aHOre3ZoYv1-eTe3E4n4_A0e7g6EAcZ8vC9vpon-7oxkDj3qRe1IUo7epcdN3oB598r8Y/s320/2020.02+FEB.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">Well Christmas is over, shooting
is over and I have been bathed within an inch of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully the tree has been removed from the
house so I can relax and not worry about inadvertently lifting my leg as I pass
</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">–</span><span style="color: black;"> I know it</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">’</span><span style="color: black;">s banned indoors but the natural
reaction always remains and I have to concentrate on tamping down my natural
urges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">’</span><span style="color: black;">t want to blot my previously
clean record of behaviour indoors as I want to continue being invited in to
spend the evening on my cushion in the company of the Boss and the Mrs as they
watch TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand that none of my
predecessors had this privilege and lived in kennels in the garden, never to
step paw inside the two legged abode.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am very proud to be the first and have learnt to keep still and quiet so the
Boss and Mrs hardly know I am here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">The only time I forget myself is
after they have finished eating Even though I have tried really hard I cannot stop
myself from getting up to see if they have left anything on their plates which
I could finish for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Boss,
bless him, tries really hard to eat everything but every so often they have a
difference of culinary opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He says
the Mrs has had a disaster and I get to benefit from what he considers to be
inedible, although I note the Mrs has eaten all of hers!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She never comments after she has scraped his
leftovers into my dish but rushes to purloin the flicker to change the TV from
sport to one of her </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">‘</span><span style="color: black;">who
done it investigations</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">’</span><span style="color: black;">
which neither the Boss nor I can make head nor waggy tail of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally during dinner the Boss comments
that the Mrs has excelled herself and then I know there will be nothing left on
the plates for me and the Mrs will be content to allow sport to remain on the
TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite the culinary excellence I
much prefer ball games to investigations even though it means no leftovers for
me! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-87736998329820444332020-01-09T01:42:00.002-08:002020-01-09T01:44:45.938-08:00JANUARY 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdm1zb-W3bNvxtNS7onjCM2OVu1s8vtqtP3Jm8cMkSoJA3K3eJQb_pfKlZbd0eRyeCTDAiTnao7mrs6i3KFoD7A8huMcmFQetRfOo9t1wr-aOozlJ0md8m4wkQHMRT61gvCaL89vwFi8gM/s1600/2020+JAN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="489" data-original-width="482" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdm1zb-W3bNvxtNS7onjCM2OVu1s8vtqtP3Jm8cMkSoJA3K3eJQb_pfKlZbd0eRyeCTDAiTnao7mrs6i3KFoD7A8huMcmFQetRfOo9t1wr-aOozlJ0md8m4wkQHMRT61gvCaL89vwFi8gM/s320/2020+JAN.jpg" width="315" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">It</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">s a wrap, or at least it
would have been if the Miniatures had anything to do with it. They visited the
second day of the of the festivities and brought their newest addition to the
family with them - a very small, over exuberant, chronically energetic female
K9 called Cookie who appears to be madly in love with me and wants to give me
kisses all over my snout without having the politeness to ask permission
first. I tower above and stared down at
her from my height giving her the look the Mrs occasionally gives the Boss when
she is not happy with his behaviour which I should have known makes very little
difference</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">…</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">.. When this failed to work I tried
ignoring her ministrations and resorted to walking around the furniture, hiding
behind chairs, looking beseechingly at the Mrs while trying to telepathically
request this small stalker was ensnared and removed from my immediate vicinity and
continually turning about trying to
avoid her ministrations but it was to no avail.
It appeared she is totally smitten and after my rebuffs met with a
distinct refusal to accept my lack of interest the Mrs and the Boss finally had
to step in. The house was in uproar
with me leading the chase and Cookie a very close second, both of us weaving
around the furniture followed by all in sundry.
It was a merry site but I didn</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">t dare stop to appreciate
it in case I was licked to death. I have
got a voice </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">–</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> quite a large one actually, much deeper than Cookie</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">s little chirps but I didn</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">t feel it was my place to
bark my annoyance as everyone else was doing that already. Thankfully after her capture and a certain
amount of what started as careful tutorials and nearly ended in eviction she
eventually calmed down enough to allow me to lick my own chops for a
change! In case you were wondering Cookie
is a Border Terrier!</span>Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-61278533970948871632019-12-19T09:20:00.002-08:002019-12-19T09:42:13.881-08:00DECEMBER 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNVsyefVxO8GCdCl_9_SSuLsA7afyQ_gKZ4BiI3eg5FSQWJZd2H6nrsBEokz2rLRBAJvPc5aZREHOFDncU8NSvIFtqWo1xlVnlk22zddd9RprqoeLLbcT28JeoBA3K0NlHaceHHzWWLmq3/s1600/tantalizing+4+psc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="492" data-original-width="700" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNVsyefVxO8GCdCl_9_SSuLsA7afyQ_gKZ4BiI3eg5FSQWJZd2H6nrsBEokz2rLRBAJvPc5aZREHOFDncU8NSvIFtqWo1xlVnlk22zddd9RprqoeLLbcT28JeoBA3K0NlHaceHHzWWLmq3/s320/tantalizing+4+psc.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Wishing you all the best possible
bone gnawing, lip smacking, tongue licking, cream lapping times this Christmas
and remember if you are burying anything in the garden remember to avoid any
bulbs the Mrs has planted as they tend to give the game away if left lying on
the top of the soil - she always manages to know where I have buried my
bone. Also ensure complete disposal of anything removed surreptitiously
from the Christmas tree and eaten in secrecy behind the sofa (only applies if
the Mrs has not already eaten all the chocolate dangles on the tree) wrappings
can been eaten but this is not advisable as they can be detected in certain
movements at a later date so ensure they are either dropped near the Mrs chair
or hidden well under the sofa and not visible at long range!</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Try not to look too downhearted when you only get
turkey leftovers and not the leg or the wing and on no account display or mention
any adversity to large men with white beards and red garb or the miniatures
will never speak to you again! If any venison appear in the garden -
leave them be as they may not have finished their rounds.........</span></span></div>
Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-62881146989150841652019-12-19T09:04:00.002-08:002019-12-19T09:07:30.282-08:00NOVEMBER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqaRg0qfXZ4qs50gvhKWCNWtb0CaxL5ZotHYbeyUbrYtlnACn_tSB09PyIaeaV7C2tn8TyDW0kZRwlE_SfomqT6cDoOjmSqnnxSOHZNr5c8Iniro_qZHAvPbGmSzpG4uzeEvldEatmkiwT/s1600/2019+OCTOBER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="664" data-original-width="838" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqaRg0qfXZ4qs50gvhKWCNWtb0CaxL5ZotHYbeyUbrYtlnACn_tSB09PyIaeaV7C2tn8TyDW0kZRwlE_SfomqT6cDoOjmSqnnxSOHZNr5c8Iniro_qZHAvPbGmSzpG4uzeEvldEatmkiwT/s320/2019+OCTOBER.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Winter is upon us and my fur coat comes in very handy on the
cold nights and frosty mornings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mrs
complains that most of my fur seems to be distributed haphazardly around the
house but I assure her that the majority is on my back and I just need an all
over two hour brush every day to keep it sleek and luxurious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She seems to think this is a joke but I will
say anything to get some extra petting and attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alas out comes the hoover again and I am
tortured with the noise and suction as it removes my excess hair not only from
my back but from any surrounding areas that the Mrs insists it has crept
into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Winter brings not only cold weather but the season for
shooting and filling the freezer with game and venison to sustain not only the
Boss for the rest of the year but me as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Boss has had many requests to reduce the pigeon population in the
village as apparently these cheeky and prolific birds are causing untold damage
to gardens, plants and crops and leaving unsightly white deposits wherever they
perch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This photo is me doing what my
breed does – retrieving – in this case one of the despatched pigeons that have
been terrorising the neighbourhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
bringing it back to the Boss and adding it to the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>number he will be taking to the game dealers
minus the few he keeps for himself so he can have pigeon breasts braised in red
wine for dinner – a little number he is quite fond of and so am I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He now needs to instruct the Mrs to forget my
stray hair, stop the hoovering and get cooking – the certain way to man’s heart
is through his stomach swiftly followed, in my case, by oodles of strokes and a
long loving petting – can’t speak for the Boss!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-39388069945514707512019-11-05T04:46:00.002-08:002019-12-19T09:07:15.093-08:00OCTOBER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Tf-yGZJ5TC4l15kRcTnhyoXFfdz4IjY6nwsik2XHi4un7w-m_g-PRouLMC1qIq8J8l7gyRbjh6-rghP9lgcm6kicInEvzpcZvT7JFTTyEWmE7l4XSsCG1-IDHVcdXyPFQOpJYdfnK8uR/s1600/bERTS+DOG+BLOG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1235" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Tf-yGZJ5TC4l15kRcTnhyoXFfdz4IjY6nwsik2XHi4un7w-m_g-PRouLMC1qIq8J8l7gyRbjh6-rghP9lgcm6kicInEvzpcZvT7JFTTyEWmE7l4XSsCG1-IDHVcdXyPFQOpJYdfnK8uR/s320/bERTS+DOG+BLOG.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
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At last<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">…</span>..I managed to catch the attention of
the Mrs!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have spent many, many years
and opportunities, bamboozling, cajoling, charming, coaxing, tempting and manoeuvring
to persuade the Mrs that I would be a good subject for her artwork.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With my handsome good looks, my naturally
elegant wiggly body and extremely waggy tail I thought I would be the dogs b<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">……</span>.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>well, you know what I mean - the best
model ever!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My agility however always
went against me as I was told I never sat still for long enough and was always
on the move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I complained and whined
about all the photos of me she could use but none were quite right apparently.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have sat on her feet, barked my boredom, stood in her way,
stolen her paint brushes and drank her painting water, even, at great peril to
my own safety, inserted myself into the view she was painting but never had I
managed to instigate the inspiration she needed to paint my portrait until now!
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think she was having a bit of a guilt trip as she had been
asked to paint the portrait of someone else<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">’</span>s pet dog and, once it was completed,
could see I was a little put out!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I
say <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">“</span>put out<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">”</span> I don<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">’</span>t mean put outdoors as that is my
favourite place to be, but <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">“</span>put out<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">”</span> as in the Mrs thought my nose was <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">“</span>put
out of joint<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">”</span> which of course was ridiculous as that is my best feature, is
as straight as a die and packed full of 300 million olfactory receptors which
is 29,999,600 more than hers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway the
outcome was that she eventually, after all this time and all my shenanigans
decided it was my time to <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">“</span>sit<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">”</span> for a portrait aided by the <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">“</span>right<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">”</span>
photograph <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">…</span>. and here it is<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">…</span>.don<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;">’</span>t I look a handsome beast?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-81369088931474929972019-10-02T02:08:00.000-07:002019-12-19T09:07:01.006-08:00SEPTEMBER 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSbcJl7PRcycXxdAuKwprHmh-XeOIeLhjtsy7JXC-CMrHZYqYsVDc3mTblK1Dgy42zg35xahGLEmfZM-8Lg4fB8OqIGaojBXX5pa8obVG_Ijpjpjww2dWrAGJRqGuXSwQaWVnawtKw4C7/s1600/2019+AUGUST.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="641" data-original-width="673" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSbcJl7PRcycXxdAuKwprHmh-XeOIeLhjtsy7JXC-CMrHZYqYsVDc3mTblK1Dgy42zg35xahGLEmfZM-8Lg4fB8OqIGaojBXX5pa8obVG_Ijpjpjww2dWrAGJRqGuXSwQaWVnawtKw4C7/s320/2019+AUGUST.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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During my holidays this year I had chance to closely examine
one of the many small green jumping things that live around the lake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each time I got my nose close enough to give
it a good sniff it jumped away. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
small creature has many attributes - the jumping ability was astounding – far
better than mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The noise it made was
also akin to barking so I felt quite at home trying to make friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First one would bark and then an answer would
come back eventually starting a croaking chorus from around each side of the
lake until it became quite deafening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
tried to participate but I don’t think I spoke the same language and eventually
the Mrs told me I was as made as a box of frogs and should keep quiet from now
on. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Not only could my new froggy friend jump and bark but his
swimming prowess was amazing – no sooner had he jumped in the water than he had
disappeared doing breast stroke - made my doggy paddle look pathetic!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was allowed to join him but I lost sight
of him under the water as he shot off like a torpedo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I busied myself swimming around looking for
him and was distracted by more splashing – I couldn’t believe my eyes - the Mrs
had joined me in the water and was splashing about, then her friend waded in
and had a swim and then the Boss started paddling about in his dinghy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My private bath was getting a bit crowded so
I jumped out and left them to it, I think some of my froggy friends did too!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-35391645535235693752019-09-13T09:53:00.000-07:002019-12-19T09:06:45.743-08:00JULY & AUGUST<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEuPM8hqAUJnGoJMcFsD4CkJXHIAMomv462jc_08g0NQnYfrMSfrURb5S6AE8cdGhjWZyiG1YvWqhXxszR13n_trDUWW_cTA-RAhjljNreyBRAF1E7jhLUtL5br45ORPNpB3q2bJBwOIe1/s1600/IMG_20190615_095614.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEuPM8hqAUJnGoJMcFsD4CkJXHIAMomv462jc_08g0NQnYfrMSfrURb5S6AE8cdGhjWZyiG1YvWqhXxszR13n_trDUWW_cTA-RAhjljNreyBRAF1E7jhLUtL5br45ORPNpB3q2bJBwOIe1/s320/IMG_20190615_095614.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">1. Me outside my
stately home!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha ha….fooled you! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(West Green House)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">I will
explain:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>recently the Mrs allowed me to
join her band of walking buddies so I thought you would like to see some of the
sites I was allowed to see on this five mile hike…. all the training I gave her
in April obviously paid off as the Mrs managed the whole route.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Boss said there was a carrot at the end
of the stick and that was why the Mrs had completed it but she carried no stick
and I am not sure she is that fond of carrots …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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2. We passed this delightfully refreshing looking pond but
it was part of someone’s private home and garden so I had to wear my lead and
the Mrs had to be attached to the other end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No swimming today! (Dipley Mill)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also busied myself trying to keeping my human herd together in tight
formation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They get side tracked by
talking and studying a paper with lots of lines and symbols on – none of them
follow their noses like I do but they managed to find their way across the land
so maybe they do have some superior qualities….. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">3. I hadn’t realised how famous my tribe was! Along the side of the path were growing bushes
of beautiful flowers and the Mrs informed me they were called Dog Roses. Aha I thought, planted specially for me! I did try to leave my calling scent beneath
but was quickly discouraged and told to just admire the view and stop lifting
my leg – this was confusingly difficult as I need to lift my legs to walk so I
just kept plodding on and the Mrs seemed pleased enough.</span></span></div>
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</w:wrap></v:imagedata></v:shape>4. After walking through fields of grass, potatoes and horses we came
upon another site which the Mrs went into raptures about – Wild Flowers! I was asked to walk to heel which can be a
bit tricky without tripping the Mrs. I
have been warned on many occasions that if that happens she will be really
really cross! So I walked sedately
behind her and tried not to mind that tall Wild Flowers make one really really
wild as I could not see over the top of the flowers without doing one of my
upwardly mobile bounds which were definitely not the order of the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwesgsNKe89rr1vD3KDaro2uZ0SgmBq2i3mn2heWAFXbBn8rRARcFICsLYAWm63lIbO4LUcPxNiR6xT4p7YeRff9cDZVSycaUmV66d4dHNgs8lt8R_75U7h-yQTml4laboWxEPqUDTL-jV/s1600/IMG_20190615_113223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwesgsNKe89rr1vD3KDaro2uZ0SgmBq2i3mn2heWAFXbBn8rRARcFICsLYAWm63lIbO4LUcPxNiR6xT4p7YeRff9cDZVSycaUmV66d4dHNgs8lt8R_75U7h-yQTml4laboWxEPqUDTL-jV/s320/IMG_20190615_113223.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">5. Here I am emerging from woodland to find the
unusual and quaint Mattingley Church which was built in the later 1400’s – how
do I know that? I listened to their
leader reading from the info – dogs aren’t daft you know.</span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinC4S9lQ30cqbNQkaq3uoPhbiCSLkyycMXCIoYP0g-1vAEKfgL33FwJSUdugG8yvGtqVtC10P_FOdNy12cYh4104QioVg5Vtq91n4lyLbV6tlHWxMsaVFaSzpPIgUswzPvE0hyphenhyphenwV9mjoE_/s1600/The+Leather+Bottle.6..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="601" data-original-width="780" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinC4S9lQ30cqbNQkaq3uoPhbiCSLkyycMXCIoYP0g-1vAEKfgL33FwJSUdugG8yvGtqVtC10P_FOdNy12cYh4104QioVg5Vtq91n4lyLbV6tlHWxMsaVFaSzpPIgUswzPvE0hyphenhyphenwV9mjoE_/s320/The+Leather+Bottle.6..jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">6.
The Mrs seemed to suddenly find extra energy and we finally left nature behind
to return to our starting point – The Leather Bottle. I felt satisfaction and relief emanating from
her when we stopped our trekking to sit down for refreshments. I had another drink and the Mrs ordered lunch
but I don’t think it was carrots!</span></span></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-33959551920810901882019-09-13T09:41:00.002-07:002019-09-13T09:54:48.334-07:00JUNE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQswbN5J9_PRKF7Yvoqqcb6Knz8VW1WC_7XRCWhvq7EBv18WXiPbZNdukQl-5YDRI9a4C3eWlwp0QWKvbsGBIBv_DfpXF_p6BTXJWipJs9bnzEOa9YMyUGbkiMKADAT4wB3gFNHZ-29orq/s1600/2019+JUNE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQswbN5J9_PRKF7Yvoqqcb6Knz8VW1WC_7XRCWhvq7EBv18WXiPbZNdukQl-5YDRI9a4C3eWlwp0QWKvbsGBIBv_DfpXF_p6BTXJWipJs9bnzEOa9YMyUGbkiMKADAT4wB3gFNHZ-29orq/s320/2019+JUNE.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Well we made it
across the Chanel without having to wear the muggle, I mean the muzzle!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">I have been
practicing my swimming since but definitely not when the Boss is fishing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here you can see I have been in for a wee dip
but the Boss has now brought out his sticks and boxes of worms and maggots
which he reliably informs me are not for eating – except for the fish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep a close eye on him in case some bread
appears from his box of tricks or better still some dog biscuits although we
have a running argument regarding whether this is fish food or dog food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He insists that if it is at the lake it is
fish food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also has an elastic
launcher which he fills with ‘fish’ food and propels it across the water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw him do this and thought it was a new
game to test my retrieving abilities and launched myself into the water to
catch the arc of food floating on top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After doggy paddling around for ten minutes with my mouth open like a
hoover I was persuaded to come out and sit on the bank whereby he explained
that I should not chase the biscuits when they were in the water as they had
now become ‘fish food’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have heard of
magic but that was ridiculous and along the lines of when the Mrs arrives from
upstairs to go out with the Boss dressed in yet another new outfit only to tell
the Boss she has had it for ages and found it in the back of the wardrobe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t believe her and I don’t believe him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dog biscuits are dog biscuits, my nose does
not deceive me and fish should stick to worms and maggots!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a dog’s life but someone has to live it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-18357107198298609052019-06-09T04:42:00.001-07:002019-06-09T04:42:15.736-07:00MAY 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8uwvbBs0Gjs-KiBreUNG2IXEmLBSHtH7gCBj0N1535aN2tu2itRH9dm8tFFZ6hdV_8zwVh-nr9jbE2x5ZjsHetmuH_YcxiqoOetWEPu7ys3jQmgCAv3FVfWJV10Pu25KGLPAET5nA9yka/s1600/2019+MAY+berts+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8uwvbBs0Gjs-KiBreUNG2IXEmLBSHtH7gCBj0N1535aN2tu2itRH9dm8tFFZ6hdV_8zwVh-nr9jbE2x5ZjsHetmuH_YcxiqoOetWEPu7ys3jQmgCAv3FVfWJV10Pu25KGLPAET5nA9yka/s320/2019+MAY+berts+blog.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Can you believe
it!?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am supposed to wear this snout
hugger when I go sailing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most people on
board get issued with a life jacket but I get this!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am seriously dogged off!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">This is a
demonstration photo only.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have already
completed around 16 channel crossings without one but being a stickler for
following the rules the Mrs heard that animals should have a muzzle and decided
to add one to my very limited wardrobe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To date it consists of 4 things, this, a lead, a neckerchief I never
wear and my blanket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">’</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">s
two things more than I need </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">–</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"> ditch the neckerchief and this muzzle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Upon the very
unlikely happening of the boat sinking apparently, I need to be wearing one of
these when I am rescued to ensure I do not bite the hand that saves me </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">–</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">
as if I would!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only have to wear the
snout hugger on board when I am outside of the vehicle and as I am always
inside the vehicle I am a little confused.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When on the boat I stay in my bedroom on wheels and go to sleep while my
two chauffeurs depart to their own cabin to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not allowed to vacate my vehicular
bedroom and must stay there until they return in the morning to transport me
and themselves off the boat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are
a lot of other dogs around me occupying their own vehicular bedrooms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Presumably if the boat starts sinking someone
will rush round applying this contraption to all concerned while letting them
out of the vehicles so that they can all swim to safety - ridiculous - I am
going to practice removing it and may well have to eat the evidence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Muzzled!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prefer the term mugged and I am not at all
sure I can swim with this thing on </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">–</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"> best keep that to yourselves in case the
Mrs hears and decides we need to trial it in the lake </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">–</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">
this could be the last time you hear from me!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-79775767904356912712019-06-09T04:35:00.001-07:002019-06-09T04:35:13.679-07:00APRIL 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyfk4SPsLHsQ3t04igZVpWrTDOy3wPXyH5FhIXj6cWVqLvBuRtAQARNVC7GFeDz6znPSY9OgzEeQYwcfvX7NUol0p_eHPP7czez11zeMegPxuRJijyGcKumqbRbVyffDgQZF9jacqfzRVs/s1600/2019+APRIL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1568" data-original-width="1600" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyfk4SPsLHsQ3t04igZVpWrTDOy3wPXyH5FhIXj6cWVqLvBuRtAQARNVC7GFeDz6znPSY9OgzEeQYwcfvX7NUol0p_eHPP7czez11zeMegPxuRJijyGcKumqbRbVyffDgQZF9jacqfzRVs/s320/2019+APRIL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">This is me
rolling in laughter at the Mrs and her fitness regime, which in my doggist
opinion is not working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I intend to get
her walking more and more steps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every
morning racing down the hill for my walk I do not have to do much encouragement
as she is fairly brisk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walk around
looking for sticks, balls, smells, evidence of night visitors and then we walk
back up the hill but believe me that is when the ‘fitness’ comes into question…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">All the stick
throwing, collecting spoor (mine), and path meandering means her energy levels
for climbing back up the hill are already spent and towing her behind me is
fairly hard work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We arrive on flat
ground again only to have the delicious silence broken with heavy breathing, a
heated red face, bending double with hands on knees and instructions to “wait a
minute”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to turn away and feign
investigating a nearby scent so she cannot see the amusement on my face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After “several minutes”, we can resume
upright again and stagger home where I am reduced to unmitigated mirth again
tinged with relief that we made it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
she thinks this one walk a week is working I am a poodle’s topknot!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">My mission is to
reduce the unfitness and spruce her up a bit so that she can keep up with me on
the hill climbs and reduce the drag on the lead as it is giving me a pain in
the neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Progress is slow and steady but
if I get too barkingly encouraging and start pulling her she gets a bit sharp
with the reprimands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gently does it with
nudges against her legs, the lead in my mouth and a wistful look on my face she
eventually succumbs and we set off on another exercise, oops, I mean walk!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try to remain straight faced but heard her
tell the Boss the other day that she was sure she caught me laughing when we
returned from a walk – the Boss and I exchanged a cautious smile as he commented
on how fit he thought I looked!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha! What
a tactician.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-87038206552016087332019-06-09T04:32:00.001-07:002019-06-09T04:32:57.754-07:00MARCH 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIl9nAukeLmzd3qb0_2w0FgZ4i5M_d4PdnkwShueH2NSSdySjk3EkwyF5cWMRGbbefXGfx_ZnYghQAy5QhjqmW-S2EuBehbuTInd__znjgnxD2MnKh2Dp7OZYkBGiiFGXK_5SdJLqrlQW6/s1600/2019+MARCH.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1114" data-original-width="1600" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIl9nAukeLmzd3qb0_2w0FgZ4i5M_d4PdnkwShueH2NSSdySjk3EkwyF5cWMRGbbefXGfx_ZnYghQAy5QhjqmW-S2EuBehbuTInd__znjgnxD2MnKh2Dp7OZYkBGiiFGXK_5SdJLqrlQW6/s320/2019+MARCH.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">I am alert and
ready for anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throw me a stick, a
ball or even a shoe and I will retrieve it forthwith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My ears perk up and my forehead creases and I
am at our service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Boss loves it
when I look like this and he knows I will retrieve anything he wishes including
pheasants, duck, geese, and any other edible fowl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, at the moment they are all out of
season so I am reduced to fetching balls and sticks whether they be on land,
sea or lake. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">If the Mrs looks
out of the window first thing in the morning and sees the mist and rain she
will reject her normal walk to the lake and find my favourite squeezy squeaky
orange ball from the cupboard along with her trusty ancient wooden tennis
racquet and practice her forearm smashes with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She informs me I make the best ball boy ever
and I get a pat and kind word every time I return my squeaky ball to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sometimes reluctant to give it up and
feel the need to squeeze it several times to experience the squeaky squeaks
before allowing her to set up another volley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I admit the tennis ball which is furry and soft in my mouth goes much
further when she gives it her best serve but it does not have the squeezable
squeak that my orange ball does when I retrieve it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really prefer my orange ball but the Mrs
sometimes gets quite cross if I do not relinquish my prize to her immediately
and she has to test it to make sure I have not ruined the squeaker. Just when I
am getting into this match the Mrs loses her competitive streak, if it ever
existed, and is easily distracted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
soon as the Boss calls that breakfast is ready she immediately says tennis is
over, washes and returns my orange squeaker ball to the cupboard and heads
indoors and I think “you cannot be serious!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-86895518563103880282019-03-19T10:10:00.003-07:002019-06-09T04:26:24.089-07:00JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPZ1taF38J3JNB49FQ2F3GPBXtEC-d0n5iLCx4TL-lt0ZIrewdSJmpAhiwAQ-RPYZ92IlZxKqhfosnkv6qlGLXCapglsk8nwa4-moiNHA-YyuVTHG0sNRUu59q193_3W2tKrHnGuoJ4gwD/s1600/2019+feb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1091" data-original-width="895" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPZ1taF38J3JNB49FQ2F3GPBXtEC-d0n5iLCx4TL-lt0ZIrewdSJmpAhiwAQ-RPYZ92IlZxKqhfosnkv6qlGLXCapglsk8nwa4-moiNHA-YyuVTHG0sNRUu59q193_3W2tKrHnGuoJ4gwD/s320/2019+feb.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Hello my
friends,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a very warm
bottom….thought you would like to know that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Boss and Mrs disappeared to the sun and I was farmed out to the
miniatures for a week – not that I am complaining, I enjoy their company and
want to be by their sides constantly, a fact that made their mum and dad a bit
peeved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was told the newly decorated
sitting room with the deliciously fluffy new rug is out of bounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought bounds were especially for dogs as
I can bound about all over the place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However I had compensation in bucket loads, or as they say in dog speak,
bone loads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see the floor on which
you see me sitting which was where my bed was placed and which became my domain
was magically heated from underneath – don’t ask me how, I don’t really care as
long as I can sit, lay, curl, sleep<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and
wriggle on here for ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bliss!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no need of my padded bed or my furry
bed blanket – just lay me out on this floor and I am in heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">During my stay I
nearly managed to wangle a ride in a taxi too, the miniatures go to school in
one and as they were being collected the tailgate was open to load their
necessities so I took the opportunity to jump in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the shocked driver left his seat to see
what had weighed the boot down he appeared a little stunned when faced with my
eager look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately he is not
licenced to take dogs in the boot and despite my best inveigling look and
jumping in and out several times I was eventually persuaded that I should
remain at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to wait for the miniatures
to come home from school before we could have more fun and treats on my nice
warm floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A week on this floor is not
long enough…….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-56320123263593409382019-01-15T03:34:00.002-08:002019-01-15T03:34:15.967-08:00DECEMBER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5nugceag-zGWNKuIbgWjxnSZ3Viw8H0CQ4ZKJTP4HEbuS3vBhxHp668_f5SpJwwkaYCYYx5xv-yGPkZhBU-patvZ4NDn2ija5F1QqyHIs51ROhSH3s2ErXhpxkPtCUAbYH3uYEhfP1V5H/s1600/2019+jan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="628" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5nugceag-zGWNKuIbgWjxnSZ3Viw8H0CQ4ZKJTP4HEbuS3vBhxHp668_f5SpJwwkaYCYYx5xv-yGPkZhBU-patvZ4NDn2ija5F1QqyHIs51ROhSH3s2ErXhpxkPtCUAbYH3uYEhfP1V5H/s320/2019+jan.jpg" width="251" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Hi there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hope you had a good Christmas and welcome to 2019.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My treat for the festive season was an
impromptu visit to the sea side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here I
am on the beach sizing up all the pebbles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are so many of them I am not sure which ones to choose to play
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither is the Mrs by the looks of
it as she keeps picking up different ones while I patiently dance around
waiting for one to be thrown which I can collect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My patience is wearing a little thin as the
choice seems to be taking rather a long time. . . . .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">While the Mrs is
choosing her stone I ran after the boss who was also tired of waiting for her
to examine every pebble on the beach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
found a nice lump of sea weed which had some delicious smells attached to it
but when I tried to carry it with me, intending to take it home for closer
examination, the Boss said no with his usual ‘leave it’ which translates into
spoilsport as far as I am concerned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Failing to be
entertained by the Boss or the Mrs I turned my attention to the large amount of
water nearby. A paddle was all I was intending when a sequence of splashes occurred
further out and that was my prompt for further immersion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This initially proved to be a bit of a
disaster as when I eventually emerged from the water after failing to
distinguish the cause of the splash plus many shouts to return, it transpired
that the Mrs, having finally finished her pebble search, was showing the Boss her
finds when he suddenly selected a satisfyingly flat one from her hand and skimmed
it out over the water and I, being bored stiff by now, instantly and
unthinkingly went to investigate the splash without waiting for any command – whoops…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After the jettisoning
of all pebbles, the Mrs’s short heated exchange with the Boss and the
inevitable lecture on obedience, (me, not the Boss) impatience and being a
silly dog, my unscheduled swim eventually worked in my favour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither of them had remembered to bring a
towel to rid my fur coat of water so we had to go on a much extended fast walk to
give me chance to run around and get air dried – now who’s the silly dog?????<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-53058569916196740982019-01-15T02:32:00.002-08:002019-01-15T03:32:16.118-08:00NOVEMBER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiobYGfaROk4mc34EOZyP395-BBenLBY2_koLiYjYwOridf0oXGk2Pwdpfij6Ik07VRIpN_zPZSCQhbOIwaaJz7ifRsmFfKPHxHXPRAWpQeZKqaAQIwVGIn7UgapVuh9eN4987hlpvCLZvl/s1600/2018+November.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiobYGfaROk4mc34EOZyP395-BBenLBY2_koLiYjYwOridf0oXGk2Pwdpfij6Ik07VRIpN_zPZSCQhbOIwaaJz7ifRsmFfKPHxHXPRAWpQeZKqaAQIwVGIn7UgapVuh9eN4987hlpvCLZvl/s320/2018+November.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Trying them on
for size.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How the Boss walks round in
these is beyond me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Added to the fact
that he has to remove them each time he goes indoors (the Mrs will not let him
in with them on) seems to be a seriously good reason for going barefoot but
apparently that’s only for dogs!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
grumbles about removal, especially when I am welcomed in front of the fire with
just my bare paws.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Muddy paws make for
much easier washing – just walk through a few puddles give them a quick lick
and they are clean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you there have
been occasions when even I have been refused entry by the Mrs until certain
ablutions have been carried out but at least I don’t have to stumble about
trying to get these rubber feet off!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Talking about
ablutions I had to succumb to a three person wash as I had received a personal
invitation to attend a session of the 60+ Coffee Morning, apparently my fans
wanted to meet me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mrs insisted I
had a bath before the event and The Miniatures helped in the bathroom which
made it rather crowded but the extra hands doing the lathering made it very
enjoyable despite the squealing when I divested myself of unwanted water from
my fur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The towels were meant for me but
ended up covering the Miniatures to protect them from my shaking – but I
managed to get them when their guards were down and covered them with a fine
spray of essence of shampooed dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
the towels were transferred to me and much rubbing and drying took place along
with a certain amount of giggling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
the towelling came the brushing and by the end I was almost unrecognisable and
transformed into a sweet smelling canine fit to meet my fans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After a brisk
walk around the village I was warmly welcomed to the coffee morning by Shelley,
and although failing to find any shells on her person I discovered she did have
biscuit treats in her hand for me which was very thoughtful and much
appreciated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After walking around in my
bare paws and meeting all the coffee drinkers present I was patted and petted,
succumbed to some tummy tickling and had a photo with one of my fans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mrs showed some of my ‘stay’ commands and
I showed them how I can carry my own lead. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was not allowed under the tables to check if
they were barefoot but they seemed very happy so I can only assume they did not
have rubber feet…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-28385485165414907512018-11-12T07:58:00.001-08:002018-11-12T07:58:18.440-08:00OCTOBER <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKBIwg-Mao-GP7mErNnmNRrseosiJDFm2fEi-ZgzhxlXnj67WbDpsfSMJFeBmZhmoEs6HBSyFEpW1QA8QysHiz8OOrtmCYdenMmCnTZZeBvTF6YvDiFYB-bpkualc_tCPFFEqY8ktkG95H/s1600/possible+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKBIwg-Mao-GP7mErNnmNRrseosiJDFm2fEi-ZgzhxlXnj67WbDpsfSMJFeBmZhmoEs6HBSyFEpW1QA8QysHiz8OOrtmCYdenMmCnTZZeBvTF6YvDiFYB-bpkualc_tCPFFEqY8ktkG95H/s320/possible+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ready for that
walk, no need for company, I can take myself….. but no, the Boss and the Mrs
want to come too. I can get along much
faster on my own sniffing all the different animals who have passed by our
domain but they who hold the other end of the lead want to spend ages
discussing the origin of all the trails, tracks and spoors, and are constantly
on the watch for footprints of deer, wild boar, coypu, pine martin, hedgehog,
all found in France along with the lovely crunchy French sticks, the
incomprehensible language and my chariot being driven on the wrong side of the
road……… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The spoors are up
for investigation, which animal had left it for discussion? It makes me laugh – if ever I mistakenly
leave one there is never the same interest that my wild friends poo generate,
in fact the other day when I had a nasty attack of cramps and inadvertently
left a calling card on my bedroom floor there was hell to pay. My ownership was heavily discussed, was I his
dog or her dog. I was barred from
returning until the clean-up had taken place.
Trust me it wasn’t that bad – just a little accident and beyond my
control. At least there was no head
scratching about who it had come from! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The
Boss has purchased a wildlife camera to catch a shot of all these resident
creatures in France and they spend every morning discussing the nightly
wanderings of each of them. I sit and
listen and think to myself…. I could have told you that just by their scent
alone, never mind their footprints, their spoor or the expense of the camera
but we are up against the age old problem of linguistics, the Boss and the Mrs
just cannot get their head around dog talk or barkage, so they remain ignorant
of so much that I know. The long slow
walks continue as before, but I never complain – sometimes their ignorance is
bliss. </span></div>
Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-67612066072493101532018-10-21T07:09:00.001-07:002018-11-12T07:58:48.422-08:00SEPTEMBER 2018<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib75Fyls_c1-lr47RsM-YL2zqRMr5hkBzxn0fbCjIrB0fi5elbklgpMShePs-kNsZ80g86HYesla6hx9yv4esoq75IbATWdIdXzZ-Bvo_xqCJnOdyebAPdaetfvngaUl9uhoulFPChjlZY/s1600/20180822_114456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib75Fyls_c1-lr47RsM-YL2zqRMr5hkBzxn0fbCjIrB0fi5elbklgpMShePs-kNsZ80g86HYesla6hx9yv4esoq75IbATWdIdXzZ-Bvo_xqCJnOdyebAPdaetfvngaUl9uhoulFPChjlZY/s320/20180822_114456.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Intonations…..Here
I am resting under the seats where the Mrs and the Boss take their morning
coffee break in the shade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The grass is
cool under my snout and I can hear all the conversation going on above me, even
if I don’t understand all the words I can tell by the tone whether there is
going to be fun or trouble ahead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pick
up on some words like ‘ball’ and ‘lake’ and my tail wags almost without
conscious volition – it appears my rear end has a mind of its own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I continue to play possum and they think I am
asleep but my blasted tail wags again when I overhear ‘walk’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I open one eye to check on movement they
are both looking at me and laughing but continue sitting and the tone stays
even and uneventful, so I sigh heavily and resume my snooze.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After a little
longer, all the coffee drunk and the tones of the conversation sounding more
hopeful I watch to see if movement is imminent and see the Boss preparing to
leave his chair and pulling the Mrs up with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They both look at me and the questioning
tones suggest they want me with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>‘Come on then’ which I recognise instantly gets me to my feet and eager
to please.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My lead, which I carry
myself, is looped around my neck and off we all go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Walk to heel’ spoken in a commanding tone by
the Boss brings me to his side instantly, the Mrs laughingly gives an
unrepeatable reply and walks next to him on the other side …. I think he was
talking to me but, as ever, it’s all in the tone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-5940174175511587532018-08-23T06:41:00.001-07:002018-08-23T06:41:13.629-07:00AUGUST 2018<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4s4lwpQgIFPPAnf3XV-zc9JwbyY_pfzvbnzQp9C6eCvIqrPE4RwMUQEPMkhO3Z9s9fk6Pwz2RAIJGgQIAfIrVTavl_xZ2TVVRL2jwnZqbt-89b689WKoOWktDEiE7wWkoY-BGYwQwOs0M/s1600/2018+august+on+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="761" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4s4lwpQgIFPPAnf3XV-zc9JwbyY_pfzvbnzQp9C6eCvIqrPE4RwMUQEPMkhO3Z9s9fk6Pwz2RAIJGgQIAfIrVTavl_xZ2TVVRL2jwnZqbt-89b689WKoOWktDEiE7wWkoY-BGYwQwOs0M/s320/2018+august+on+blog.jpg" width="237" /><span style="color: black;">
</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13.33px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;"><span style="color: black;">Trying to keep
cool???<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>In all of my nearly 7 years I
have never felt as hot as this!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13.33px;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">Have you noticed
my companion </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;"> he always appears when the sun shines and
never leaves me alone, except when I am swimming.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Here he is in the photo trying to big himself
up and take all the glory for retrieving my stick.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>When I try to sit on him he almost disappears
and running after him is completely useless as he always avoids capture and can
run as fast as I can.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Luckily he
disappears on contact with water.</span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13.33px;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">I get a break
from him when the Mrs lets me cool off in the lake but her throw is not what it
once was so the Boss gives me more of a swim as his sticks splash far out in
the centre and I can practice my swimming stroke to its full potential.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>This stroke, commonly known as doggy paddle,
which I think is a pretty pathetic name considering the speed with which I can
move through the water, is a Labradors triumph.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I will admit the diving could do with improvement - the Mrs insists it
is called a belly flop but I prefer to think of it as a dog bomb </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">
I make a mighty fine splash I can tell you!<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Once in the water my paws spread out and the webbing between my toes
acts as a massive paddle enabling me to power through the water and catch the
stick in my mouth to return it to the Boss for another launch</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;">…</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">..
If only he would let me try this with the fish but he continues to prefer to
catch them with dangled lines attached to sticks </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;"> I think this is a huge
waste of a stick!</span></span></span></div>
</a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<u><span style="color: #000120;"></span></u><br /></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-60728098171953499122018-08-04T04:31:00.005-07:002018-08-04T04:57:51.107-07:00JULY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfynPCgeWUhR67hsXwYMOt8ZS-7vbkChZUmlaMmotvfXMx2bm5yykNX5932J2VV2ln9_VxAxUq8N0o2JjVbrxILmlnds-TESd-wimpW9e53wa49ekGmSai4t97JWY35BxN8gZquykeZBvw/s1600/2018+july.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="327" data-original-width="168" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfynPCgeWUhR67hsXwYMOt8ZS-7vbkChZUmlaMmotvfXMx2bm5yykNX5932J2VV2ln9_VxAxUq8N0o2JjVbrxILmlnds-TESd-wimpW9e53wa49ekGmSai4t97JWY35BxN8gZquykeZBvw/s320/2018+july.jpg" width="164" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13.33px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">ERTS BLOG:<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Tasty, tasty, very, very tasty</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">…</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I am one proud dog.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>After parading around the ring at our village
F</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">ê</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">te for </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">‘</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Most Fabulous
Fellow</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">, </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">‘</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Musical Sits</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">, </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">‘</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Best Paw Shaker</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
and </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">‘</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Judges Champion</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> I finally won the last class and was awarded
this fabulous rosette.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I also received
some bags of party </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">‘</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">goodies</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> which the Mrs
kindly doled out to me one at a time and which she also stored in her handbag
for later </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> spoilsport!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>This could make a
fellow swell headed but I am taking it in my stride, in my run and also in my
sits as I now have no excuse not to do what I am told - the Mrs said she would
relieve me of my rosette if I did not do exactly what she said in future </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
if I didn</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t she would know I was only showing off for the crowd and if I could
do it in the ring, I could do it at home</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">…</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13.33px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I knew I should
not have been so prompt in my eagerness to perform</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">…</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">.
It always leads to great expectations from the Boss and Mrs and now, each time
I try to ignore a command or turn a deaf ear, the Mrs waves the rosette at
me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I am wondering how long it will take
for her to forget and allow the dog show to disappear into the avenues of murky
past in her memory and allow me to sneak it down the garden for a proper
respectful burial </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> I have the place chosen and marked out
already in my own special way</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">…</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13.33px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">While searching
for a suitable place my memory suddenly resurfaced from the murky past with the
aid of sight and smell and I found a long lost tennis ball which pleased me
greatly. I proceeded to gift it to the Boss who threw it to the Mrs, who had to
drop the rosette (sshhh, I will appropriate it at a later date) to catch the
ball and we spent the next hour playing dog in the middle.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Each time I caught the ball I received
another </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">‘</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">goodie</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">’</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> from my party bag, so all in all we had a
very good time at the F</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">ê</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">te </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; margin: 0px;">–</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> many thankful tail flicks and licks to
the organisers.</span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span>Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1028681734830103721.post-1942008606916937902018-07-04T02:43:00.000-07:002018-07-04T02:43:55.290-07:00JUNE 2018<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqA4ZGpTVE0VJToAa8E0KncHVTfsUPWp1iXjgPIT4cUSTyrHIMPZsuwnWFhP2SPMhzmln9I0y67q5FNHElnjdGG5kpvYLdnZFGYJjt4KXVMhYeEEgtJ_b3s77xMuqmw1SeV1HHmoB1PKkm/s1600/2018+june.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1526" data-original-width="1307" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqA4ZGpTVE0VJToAa8E0KncHVTfsUPWp1iXjgPIT4cUSTyrHIMPZsuwnWFhP2SPMhzmln9I0y67q5FNHElnjdGG5kpvYLdnZFGYJjt4KXVMhYeEEgtJ_b3s77xMuqmw1SeV1HHmoB1PKkm/s320/2018+june.png" width="274" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The Mrs spent ages making this. This is my
worried look!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mrs wants me to go
into telephone boxes and spin round – I usually only sniff around the outside….<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cloak rather intrigues me, I can imagine
tearing across the fields with it flying out behind me, rather like my ears on
a windy day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The tights I am a little
worried about as well – restricting with my four legs, not to mention my bodily
requirements/ablutions and what would I do with my tail?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course the muscles closely resemble my own
with me being a fit sort of chap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The Mrs has
mentioned sponges in relation to this hunk and I can only assume she means to
give me another wash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time will tell
what the real purpose of sponges and the Superhero will be at the village fete…..The last time
sponges were used I pinched one and shook it with all my might and water
sprayed everywhere – over the Mrs who was washing her vehicle and the Boss who
was sitting reading his Sunday paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
then had to run off to the bottom of the garden with it before I could be
chastised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On being persuaded to return
it to the bucket the car washing antics were abandoned by the Mrs and with a
crafty look at the Boss, who was busy spreading out his paper to dry before he
could resume his reading, she and I embarked on a fun game of catching the
sponge which, after each retrieval, was dunked into the bucket to soak and
flung into the air for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">It turned out
that newspaper reading and car sponging is not<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>a good combination for a sunny Sunday morning and eventually the Boss
retrieved the sponge and finished the car cleaning job himself which I think
was the idea the Mrs had all along…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Berthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00943209127051809908noreply@blogger.com0