SEPTEMBER 2015

Learning a new language is a tricky thing.  Words like “half” come out in dog bark as “arf arf”.  Now the Mrs wants to teach me French!  My picture shows me looking left but the Mrs says it is “gauche” which I think is extremely awkward….. it gets worse… she keeps telling me to “mange” my dinner, but I keep telling her “no, I am perfectly healthy, thank you” then “whoof” it back in a second – confusing!  This apparent difficulty with languages came to the fore recently when assisting the Boss with depleting the pigeon population.  Spending hours sitting waiting for the offenders to spot the preferred field of taste and descend for a snack can drive a dog ‘barking’ mad.  I was half asleep dreaming of playing ball with the miniatures when I heard the bang and, being still in a drowsy state, mistook the command of “fetch” for “catch” and spent hours looking for the ball.  Eventually I woke up properly, spotted the flying miscreants and we managed to get a good rhythm going resulting in a decent haul for the game dealers with some left over for the Mrs to cook pigeon breast in “whine”….  Most of the time I can tell what is being said regardless of what language it is in by the tone of the voice.  I now know that “mechant” means “naughty” – this became obvious on holiday after I had inadvertently lifted my leg and was told in no uncertain terms to “allais” and spent a long time looking for a more narrow street but gave up eventually when it became increasingly obvious I had misunderstood the command!  Luckily the gentle touch of a hand on my head and a tickle under the ear is universally appreciated wherever you are.