Wishing you all the best possible
bone gnawing, lip smacking, tongue licking, cream lapping times this Christmas
and remember if you are burying anything in the garden remember to avoid any
bulbs the Mrs has planted as they tend to give the game away if left lying on
the top of the soil - she always manages to know where I have buried my
bone. Also ensure complete disposal of anything removed surreptitiously
from the Christmas tree and eaten in secrecy behind the sofa (only applies if
the Mrs has not already eaten all the chocolate dangles on the tree) wrappings
can been eaten but this is not advisable as they can be detected in certain
movements at a later date so ensure they are either dropped near the Mrs chair
or hidden well under the sofa and not visible at long range!
Try not to look too downhearted when you only get
turkey leftovers and not the leg or the wing and on no account display or mention
any adversity to large men with white beards and red garb or the miniatures
will never speak to you again! If any venison appear in the garden -
leave them be as they may not have finished their rounds.........
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