Try not to look too downhearted when you only get turkey leftovers and not the leg or the wing and on no account display or mention any adversity to large men with white beards and red garb or the miniatures will never speak to you again! If any venison appear in the garden - leave them be as they may not have finished their rounds.........
Thursday, 19 December 2019
Wishing you all the best possible bone gnawing, lip smacking, tongue licking, cream lapping times this Christmas and remember if you are burying anything in the garden remember to avoid any bulbs the Mrs has planted as they tend to give the game away if left lying on the top of the soil - she always manages to know where I have buried my bone. Also ensure complete disposal of anything removed surreptitiously from the Christmas tree and eaten in secrecy behind the sofa (only applies if the Mrs has not already eaten all the chocolate dangles on the tree) wrappings can been eaten but this is not advisable as they can be detected in certain movements at a later date so ensure they are either dropped near the Mrs chair or hidden well under the sofa and not visible at long range!