Friday 26 May 2017

May 2017

 Bonjour………  The Mrs is trying to teach me French again!  This is me attempting to say “saucisses” which apparently is “sausages” in french. The Boss said there used to be a dog on the TV that said “sausages” so I should be able to say it in french seeing as how much time I spend over there.  This seems to be a bit much coming from the Boss who’s knowledge of the language only seems to amount to ‘vin rouge’ before he turns to the Mrs to ask ‘what did he say?’.  I am having a bit of trouble  getting my tongue, which is very long you know, around some of the twisters in this language!  I think I will stick to the age old method of communication where I bark very loudly and just hope they understand!   Trouble is every time I try this out the Mrs gets very perturbed and insists I be quiet and listen very carefully, for she will only say this once, tais-toi, which apparently means I should close my mouth, sit down and not bark another word!  
It is unusual for me to voice my thoughts, most of the time I am very quiet and make my requirements known by snuffles, whines, the occasional snort and a variety of facial expressions which the Boss and the Mrs now know and immediately act upon, either opening the door for me, giving me dinner and patting my head for reassurance when I am unsure of something.  The Boss has adopted a few of my mannerisms, some which work for him regarding door opening and dinner but the head patting thing seems to work in reverse - only happening when he says the wrong thing - something I never do!!

April




This is my stoic look. I had to put up with decoration by ribbons. The miniatures came round and wanted to make me look beautiful. I tried to avoid them because I am already beautiful enough without the additions of frippery but the Mrs intervened and made me sit still for a bit so they could have their way. I ask you, what is a dog to do? Obey the Mrs and end up looking ridiculous or disobey the Mrs and end up in the dog house with the Boss? It lasted for about 15 minutes by which time I looked like a haberdashers shop and the miniatures became bored with that game and went on to something else, thank goodness. After I had divested myself of all the ribbons and bows I went and found my lead and gave that to them to see if they would put that on me instead which in turn would nudge them into taking me for a walk – that magic word which conjures up new smells and vistas to investigate.

After about the tenth time of offering the lead they eventually got the idea and it was put round me. The ensuing hilarity when I insist on carrying the other end myself was tempered with the Mrs insisting that each one of them had to take a turn in holding the other end as well, so I relinquished it into the hands of these inexperienced miniatures in the hope I would not be strangled. After four versions of being pulled, dragged and pushed (and that was just the miniatures as I walked very sedately, but they needed some assistance!) they eventually gave up and handed the end of my lead over to the Mrs who does not need any assistance as she can walk quite well, we managed to herd them all back to their respective homes and I could return to mine in relative peace. Goodness knows how sheep dogs manage their flock – four miniatures were tricky enough!