Sunday, 30 August 2015


Learning a new language is a tricky thing.  Words like half come out in dog bark as arf arf.  Now the Mrs wants to teach me French!  My picture shows me looking left but the Mrs says it is gauche which I think is extremely awkward.. it gets worse she keeps telling me to mange my dinner, but I keep telling her no, I am perfectly healthy, thank you then whoof it back in a second confusing!  This apparent difficulty with languages came to the fore recently when assisting the Boss with depleting the pigeon population.  Spending hours sitting waiting for the offenders to spot the preferred field of taste and descend for a snack can drive a dog barking mad.  I was half asleep dreaming of playing ball with the miniatures when I heard the bang and, being still in a drowsy state, mistook the command of fetch for catch and spent hours looking for the ball.  Eventually I woke up properly, spotted the flying miscreants and we managed to get a good rhythm going resulting in a decent haul for the game dealers with some left over for the Mrs to cook pigeon breast in whine”….  Most of the time I can tell what is being said regardless of what language it is in by the tone of the voice.  I now know that mechant means naughty this became obvious on holiday after I had inadvertently lifted my leg and was told in no uncertain terms to allais and spent a long time looking for a more narrow street but gave up eventually when it became increasingly obvious I had misunderstood the command!  Luckily the gentle touch of a hand on my head and a tickle under the ear is universally appreciated wherever you are.

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